Often I see myself, and others, reacting to situations in negative ways because of patterns of behavior displayed by our youth.
Example: Little Johnny continually acts out by jumping around and running in the gym during a time when everyone is expected to be lining up. It is not fair to Johnny if we, the adults, proceed by saying, "Johnny!!! Get in line, you are ALWAYS running about and not listening. No games for you today." What has happened is that we are taking his behavior from the past, and today, and using it to punish him. Instead, one must address the current situation, point out what the expected behavior is and then give Johnny a chance to correct the behavior. Yes, it is okay to remind Johnny that this behavior is noticed often. No, it is not okay to let yesterdays behavior be the sole influence on our decision today. Yes, take past behavior into consideration when dealing with Johnny, however, today needs to be a new chance for Johnny to improve that behavior. This is much harder than simply punishing. It takes PATIENCE, PRACTICE, and PERSISTENCE.
We must be PATIENT because these behaviors we are seeing (all negative behaviors not just the running in the gym) can take a very long time to correct. Although possible, change overnight is not realistic. Remember, after the 4 hours you are spending with Johnny he has twenty more to go without your influence, suggestions and role modeling. You should not be surprised when the behavior is repeated the next day.
We must PRACTICE how we deal with kids everyday. No one is expected to be perfect in their dealings every time. However, if we continually practice the correct ways to speak with our members it will become easier. And kids need practice too. They have to practice hearing and listening to direction and then correcting behavior based on our guidance. The ability to take instruction, understand it, and then change behavior is something that takes a lifetime of practice. I'm 30 now and still not sure I've gotten it down.
We must be PERSISTENT in our efforts to help influence Johnny's behavior. If Johnny acts up, we address it. Every time! Every day! (Addressing it correctly of course) Everyone involved with being a role model for Johnny must be willing to address his behaviors and be persistent in correcting them. If we sit by and watch we are only hindering our own efforts to change the behavior.
Remain positive, and try to use language that is appropriate for the age group. Remain calm and handle the situation. You are the adult, show everyone how adults are supposed to act. By doing this you will be showing Johnny the correct way to handle himself as well.
Hope some of this makes since. I struggle every day to find the patience to handle any number of situations. Working with kids is hard, very hard! It will test you and take you to your limits. You will want to crack (and sometimes will) and give up. Yelling, punishing, ignoring and dismissing are the easy reactions. Being patient is hard, finding the correct coarse of action is tuff, and getting results is the hardest. But through PATIENCE, PRACTICE, and PERSISTENCE you can do it.
One last thing. Everyday is a new day. Be your best today. Be positive, caring and respectful and let all who come into contact with you be better off for it. Thanks for reading the blog again. I can't begin to say how much it helps just to get some thoughts out.
Happy Thursday
great thoughts, boy. you are really good at what you do. young people need men like you in their lives; those kiddos are lucky to have you.
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